I've lost my edge

So I've lost my mental game.  Or my love for the sport.  Or my health.  Or all.

Since Oct, I have seen little or no gains in running.  I also have noticed I feel disgusting when I run and after I run.  I used to love the sweaty-exhilarated feel post-run.  No I'm sprinting for the shower.  It feels like toxic sweat.  Maybe it's totally mental, but I think my sweat stinks differently than when I'm on the stationary bike.

My whole body feels sick while running.  I train by heart rate right now since I've been trying to recover from all the infections and the trashing of my endocrine systems.  I just feel like I'm working WAY harder and seeing no gains in 3-4 months -- and I've been conservative on the HR.

I have definite improvements in strength thanks to a more focused training plan.  I have definite improvements in spinning.  I have definite improvements in my overall health thanks to huge dietary changes and supplements.  I have definite improvements in swimming.

I complained about this a few weeks back to Doc; he said "It's the hardest so be patient."  Three weeks later still zero progress.  How much more patient?

Final straw that has me doing some serious soul searching...  I did the Hot Chocolate 5K in Atlanta a couple weekends ago.  The event itself was cute and neat.  But I did not really have fun.  EVERY race I have done regardless of weather (snow, sleet, rain, wind, super cold, super hot, etc) I have had fun.  This one was not fun.  It had nothing to do with the event itself.  I did not have fun.  No smiling.  No laughing.  No smile after the finish line.  I just wanted to go home and take a shower and forget it never happened.  During the 5K, I kept thinking of how I didn't want to be there.  I did try to make myself feel like I had a good time.  I told myself for days after that I did actually have fun, but I was lying.

It feels awful to run.  I can't explain it.  The pain I had all last year has diminished by 70-80%.  Even when I was in excruciating pain, I was still having a blast.  It's not fun anymore.  And I feel like complete shit inside my body.

I'm considering changing my game plan for this year.  I was going to try and perform to the best of my athletic abilities and beyond for sprints and olympic tris.  I can do aquabikes and relays instead.  Then throw in some centuries.  If I can find someone to run a 13.1 for me, I'll sign up for Augusta 70.3 and do the swim/bike.

I'd continue to run here and there, but I wouldn't be training for it.  See how I feel at the end of the calendar year and see about returning to the tri sport with all three in the bag.

I texted Doc this morning about all this.  He said we'll talk more at my appointment Friday, but "you're a good runner -- talented."  Perhaps...  But what do you tell the runner who doesn't have the heart to continue?